Is Fear Controlling Your Life?
Ask yourself what you would do if you weren't scared?
I bet you'd think of some amazing scenarios where you'd be free, happy, confident & courageous. Maybe you'd travel or set up your own business, maybe you'd meet your dream partner or break free from a mundane job. Just take a moment to think about how wonderful it would be.....
So if it's really that easy what's stopping you doing it right now?
It's fear. The fear of what people think, the fear of making mistakes, the fear of letting yourself down, the fear of letting others down, the fear you won't be accepted, the fear of being hurt or rejected & the fear that you won't be loved. This fear is so powerful that it prevents us from being ourselves. We end up living half a life. One side of us is going about our daily business whilst the other is questioning whether we're doing it right or what people are saying about us. We're constantly doubting ourselves & our ability, often replaying negative conversations or events that appear to prove that we should be scared.
If we take a look at the fear of being in a relationship for instance we might see how previous pain could be holding us back. Maybe we've had a wonderful loving bond with someone, we may have let our guard down in order to let ourselves be loved & give love. Over time we may have been hurt or betrayed by the other person in someway causing the relationship to end. We then associate love with pain & we beat ourselves up for letting our guard down. We then decide we're so scared to have that painful feeling again that we push people away to avoid it all together. The fear of being hurt, betrayed or rejected is controlling the behaviour.
Everything we want is on the opposite end of fear. What we're most scared of is actually what we're seeking.
My biggest phobia was the fear of being seen & judged by my appearance. I didn't want people to look at me, I didn't want to stand out & I didn't want to be centre of attention. I was so scared that people would judge me on my appearance that I became mentally exhausted by it. I was constantly checking in the mirror or anything shiny to see if I had anything wrong with me. If I ever got embarrassed or had rosey cheeks I just wanted to disappear, escape or hide my face. The worst was when people would comment that I was blushing or had gone 'bright red', I'd feel so panicky, anxious & completely distracted that I wouldn't be able to concentrate , my throat would tighten, my eyes would go blurry & my heart would pound so hard that I couldn't hear myself think. It held me back in relationships, school & jobs. I even thought I wouldn't be able to get through my wedding day because of it.
I realised that this was no way to live. After researching anxiety & body dysmorphic disorder I understood that I wasn't alone in feeling this. I wasn't a freak or a monster, I could get better & really I was craving acceptance & self confidence. After years of working on myself & now helping others I've come to realise that we're all scared of something. We're all just human beings doing the best we can given the information we have so be gentle with yourself.
Our experiences have taught us many lessons & if we can use these to grow & move forward then we're on the road to healing. The suffering is over & we can stop being scared. By observing the past & seeing the lessons we've learned we can separate from the fear so it no longer controls us. Maybe one day you'll feel confident enough to talk out about how you overcame your fears & use that experience to help others. Why not make today the day you choose to let go of fear & make decisions based on love then see what you can achieve??
Sending big hugs